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Literature Text
She told me her story
And I wouldn't close my eyes:
She feels like she could have filled a river with her cries.
She told me her story
And I would listen:
She prays for the sun to go down when she has risen.
She lays in her bed and fears the day,
Fears them all and what they're gonna say.
The clock does just not tick fast enough,
She always thought that she was tough:
Prepared for the merciless world outside,
Prepared for the horrors that haunt her at night -
To be the dangerous monster and beast
She expected her own kind the least.
Don't worry: she's alive,
That's why she told me her story.
Don't ever think that this is fun -
It could happen to anyone.
She just needed to vent some steam,
Nobody would hear her desperate scream.
Telling her story is not done yet:
She can't get those voices out of her head.
You ask: 'what is it she fears?' -
It's all the mean words she hears.
From all the things that can kill you in life:
Mean words - sharp as a knife.
She would then always show her fake smile
And she would lock herself into her room for hours;
She has not felt joy for a while,
That's why her story does not fit into a field of flowers.
And I wouldn't close my eyes:
She feels like she could have filled a river with her cries.
She told me her story
And I would listen:
She prays for the sun to go down when she has risen.
She lays in her bed and fears the day,
Fears them all and what they're gonna say.
The clock does just not tick fast enough,
She always thought that she was tough:
Prepared for the merciless world outside,
Prepared for the horrors that haunt her at night -
To be the dangerous monster and beast
She expected her own kind the least.
Don't worry: she's alive,
That's why she told me her story.
Don't ever think that this is fun -
It could happen to anyone.
She just needed to vent some steam,
Nobody would hear her desperate scream.
Telling her story is not done yet:
She can't get those voices out of her head.
You ask: 'what is it she fears?' -
It's all the mean words she hears.
From all the things that can kill you in life:
Mean words - sharp as a knife.
She would then always show her fake smile
And she would lock herself into her room for hours;
She has not felt joy for a while,
That's why her story does not fit into a field of flowers.
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These are the lyrics of the song "Her Story" that gave my EP its name; I left out the rafrain though, since it does - in my opinion - only sound good in the song itself. You can here the whole song (the whole EP) on Bandcamp: languormusic.bandcamp.com/ . Enjoy!
© 2014 - 2024 Saltario
Comments12
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I understand the difficulty with making things rhyme, but they don't have to rhyme to flow, and in some cases it's better to restrain each concept to its respective verse –
for example, I think that "She always thought that she was tough" fits more with the idea of unexpected horror in the verse after, than the verse it was placed in (presumably because the rhyme was convenient) centring more around fearing what day brings.
You've done this again in other places – can I note a refrain would only further harm this sort of thing.
It is a bit chopped up, and I might suggest literally re-writing it, just reading it a few times, bouncing the ideas around in your head, getting out the online thesaurus and rhyme dictionary, and then, without reference to the original, just seeing if you can write it differently.
Try using synonyms, and singing it in your head as you write.
Also remember that you don't always need to stick to form exactly, and that imagery is extremely important.
Don't listen to me if you don't want to.
for example, I think that "She always thought that she was tough" fits more with the idea of unexpected horror in the verse after, than the verse it was placed in (presumably because the rhyme was convenient) centring more around fearing what day brings.
You've done this again in other places – can I note a refrain would only further harm this sort of thing.
It is a bit chopped up, and I might suggest literally re-writing it, just reading it a few times, bouncing the ideas around in your head, getting out the online thesaurus and rhyme dictionary, and then, without reference to the original, just seeing if you can write it differently.
Try using synonyms, and singing it in your head as you write.
Also remember that you don't always need to stick to form exactly, and that imagery is extremely important.
Don't listen to me if you don't want to.